how can u be prego again
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
