it was like his penis was on wheels.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
