The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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