Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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