shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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