please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
