i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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