WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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