I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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