So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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