I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
