I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
