Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
