i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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