i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
