Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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