you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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