Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
