Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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