Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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