I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
