so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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