She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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