WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
