how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
