I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
