evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
