My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We had to coat check the pizza.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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