Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
