I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
