I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
