allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
