She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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