Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
