Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
