My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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