question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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