found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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