you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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