Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
