Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
