Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
