So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
