There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We're using joints as your birthday candles
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
