Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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