I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
