It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
