I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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