he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Rumble strips road head = magical
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
