Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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