I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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