Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
