We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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