The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.