Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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