Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
