I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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