who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
