I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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