How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
