Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
