You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
