Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
