I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
