He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
