you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
